Be the type of person that people always come back to.
If this isn’t thee worst advice I’ve ever seen in my 30 years of life. This quote inspired me to write this piece and I called it cord cutting for a reason.
First off, don’t be that person! As someone who has been this person (and still working on it), I used to let people come back into my life that had no business ever getting close to me in the first place. I’d let people come back time and time again before I finally started realizing, “Well shit, why do they keep leaving me?” Then I started thinking, “Why in the hell do they feel that they can keep coming back?” BECAUSE YOU’RE STANDING THERE WITH OPEN ARMS, STUPID!
T.D. Jakes said it best: “When people can walk away from you, LET THEM WALK!” Myself and T.D. don’t want you to spend another second talking someone into staying with you, loving you, calling you, or caring about you. HANG UP THE PHONE!
That person left for a reason! And that person came sniffing back around because you’re not loving and respecting yourself enough to close that damn door! Stop holding on to that “What if?” factor! I’ve extended some people’s parts in my story because I was thinking, “Well, what if …” Nope, stop that! Well Shayna, I was told “if you let something go and it comes back to you, it was meant to be.” FALSE STATEMENT! Honey, you didn’t let anything go, it left you! I’m pretty sure if you let something (in this case, someone) go, you don’t want it coming back as you let it go. That’s what happens every time you allow someone access to you again after they done left you. They’re bringing nothing back but the same sadness, same stress, and same bullshit they left you with the first time.
Stop allowing yourself to play the fool more than once. Y’all know the saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice,shame on me!” The same person who hurt you can’t heal you. I know, I know. You love them and obviously if they keep coming back, it’s because they need you. And we all know it feels good to be needed … but what feelings are you left with when they leave? Where are they when YOU need someone?
Do not let people place a revolving door on your life! Set boundaries. Let people know what you will and will not tolerate. If certain individuals bring nothing but chaos, stress, and drama … CUT THE CORD! Learn to love people from afar. Being selfless doesn’t benefit you, just them.
Rant over. OH and before I go, let me leave you with this …
If they aren’t holding onto you as tightly as you are them, with the same tender grip and tingling anticipation, THEY can be let go.
– Melissa M. Tripp