This is my brain when I’m unable to deal with my emotions and my coping mechanism is … food.
Let’s be honest, food makes us happy. I know it does for me. I’ve come to realize that food has been my answer for a number of situations in my life. I’ve used food to celebrate high moments in my life such as getting the new job I wanted, passing an exam when I was in school, and even as a reward for making it to the gym.
Food has also been there for the low moments in my life. Sometimes your strongest food cravings hit when you’re at your weakest point emotionally. I am a highly sensitive and emotional person. When I did not want to deal with those emotions, I would eat. I would go to one of my favorite restaurants to get the dish I enjoyed most in order to bury those feelings. Unfortunately shortly after my consumption, the guilt would set in and I am back at square one.
My weight has been a nonstop nuisance in my life for as long as I can remember and I believe it had gotten out of control being that I became an emotional eater at a very young age. Burger King, Taco Bell, and Chinese food were of the three dishes I could remember being a choice for dinner if things were hard to deal with that particular day. I even remember becoming upset if my mother would limit me by deciding what I could and could not order. These patterns have continued and I’m still in the battle of controlling it.
After countless tries of losing weight, I’ve realized that I could lose the weight and still be unhappy but I could still do better in making healthy choices. Dieting is depressing and is honestly annoying as all hell. Therefore to combat my emotional eating and address my issues with body dysmorphia, I’ve begun a book this month called, “The Goddess Revolution”, by Mel Wells. With this book, I’m learning to not be consumed by my negative thoughts which affect how I feel about food, my weight and my body.
I’m a work in progress but I have to learn to love myself through the process.